Update (2)

It's been another long interlude since my last post. I thought, what with our anniversary around the corner, it would be a good idea to write down my memories of the Singapore wedding before I begin to forget some of the smaller details.

The day began with us both spending a lot of time getting ready. I was instructed to shave properly, moisturise, etc., so that I looked my best for the day (and for the pictures). It was due to be a long hot day (a typical Singapore day, then), so we did not immediately change into our wedding outfits. In fact, Yolande, her mum, Sue, and I took the car and made a stop off at Jurong Point, where we picked up a fresh bouquet of flowers, which Yolande would later hold as we walked up the aisle (and some for decoration). I think we went to a couple of different places for the flowers. And we didn't dare tell them it was for a wedding in case they hiked up the prices. After that we headed straight for the Irish pub to prepare. For some reason I remember the song playing in the car on the way, "I'm a big, big girl, in a big, big world...and I do, do will miss you much...". Strange lyrics.

We had a lot to prepare, since the wedding was very do-it-yourself. We had done some research on the Internet into the sort of decorations that couples buy for their weddings, and realised that a lot of them are very overpriced for what they are. Therefore, with a few trips to Arab street (cloth), IKEA (candles), Bugis (balloons, bingo), Popular (card, pencils) etc., we gathered together all the necessary materials for a do-it-yourself wedding. The theme was a mixture of gold, white/silver, and red. And Yolande's aunt had helped out by doing some sewing to make our wavy table cloth thing (forgive me if I don't know the terminology) for the signing table. Gemma designed our invitations for us, and we went off to find a good deal for the printing. We also made a timetable of the events and posted it on or by the door for our guests to see. Shan made our wedding cupcakes, which were absolutely delicious, even though I only had one chocolate cupcake before they were all gone. It was a real family effort, which made it all the more special for me.

On the day, we also needed to arrange the candles and flowers, and inflate and hang the balloons (I was the tallest, so I did the hanging). I also needed to make sure the wedding video we had prepared would work on the overhead projector. The video was a year by year selection of photos of us, with a song from that year playing in the background. Obviously, the first year (1984) only had pictures of Yolande, and it wasn't until 2005 that we started to appear together in photos. We'd spent a long time gathering photos for this video, selecting songs and editing it all together. It wasn't ultra professional or anything, but it was very personal to us, and a fun way to have music at the wedding and something for the guests to see if they were bored.

All in all, we did a lot of preparation, and although it had its stressful moments, we gradually got through the list and it gave us something to work towards together, which is always fun.

After the initial preparations, we left the Irish pub for a while to have lunch at a nearby place that served local food. We were having food later at the pub, so it was nice to have something very different beforehand for lunch. Eating out in Singapore is a lot of fun and something I miss about living there.

Yolande and my soon-to-be mother-in-law then had their wedding makeovers. Yolande's took a long time, since she had to put something like a million pins in her hair (I think it took her an hour to take them all out when we got home). I had a little groom touch up applied to my face so it wouldn't be all shiny in the photos, but I remember the biggest problem was my collar, which didn't want to cooperate, so George had to help me pin it in place.

It was fun having guests turn up bit by bit and greeting them. It's not very often that I feel like the star of the show, although I suppose that honour probably went to the bride. I remember playing with baby Andrew, who cried when he saw me, as usual.

When it was time to walk down the aisle with Yolande it was an amazing feeling. We stood outside and waited for the music, which we'd chosen especially, to begin. We both walked in together (not like in a typical British wedding) and made our way to the signing table. I was smiling and trying not to blink too much with all the camera flashes, but Yolande was loving every second of it, posing for people to take pictures. This theme continued as we said our vows. I was relatively shy and did not speak very loudly, but when it was Yolande's turn she all but shouted into the microphone "I do!", which elicited quite a reaction from the audience! (This was all caught on video, but unfortunately we lost the camera before we'd had a chance to back it up. Never mind, there were probably equally as many embarrassing moments that it's better people don't get to rewatch!) We had no rings to exchange, since we planned to leave this until our English ceremony in 2011, but we signed the wedding certificate and drank a wedding toast of champagne. We also had to do some traditional thing where people chanted some kind of well wishes in dialect whilst we kissed. That went on for longer than was comfortable in front of so many people!

It was a surreal feeling knowing that I was now a married man, but I was extremely happy knowing that I would spend the rest of my life together with the woman I love. Our first dance was very special for us, since we danced to the song "Bless the Broken Road". It felt quite fitting, as we had gone through a lot to get to that point, although we knew there were more obstacles to overcome. We'd been practising our dancing for a few weeks beforehand. Nothing flashy. No routine or anything, but at least we knew 4 basic steps that we could repeat, which meant we didn't have to feel like two clumsy elephants (like we did when we first started learning to dance from the youtube video!). It's a big shame we will never again see the footage of us dancing to the music, but it will always remain in my memory as one of the happiest moments in my life.

The tea ceremony was brilliant. It was a traditional Chinese affair, but we used English tea. Quite a nice compromise, I thought. It was an honour to be able to take part in this and present tea to the older generation, although there were some hilarious moments, in particularly my attempts to speak Chinese, combined with my ignorance of the ceremony and fear of getting it wrong and offending people!

At one point we gave some speeches. Obviously, Yolande did most of the talking a) because it was first and foremost her family and friends and b) because Singaporeans find my accent difficult to understand, not least in a crowded, noisy pub, through a microphone. It actually got pretty emotional as we thanked all the people who had been there for us throughout our lives, and the people who had taken me in and looked after me in Singapore. It was especially poignant for Yolande, since these were people she would not get to see as much in the future as we made our planned move to the UK.

There was, however, one unplanned disruption. Yolande's friends organised a few activities to so-called 'sabotage' the wedding (which basically means embarrass us in front of our friends and family). This involved coming up with reasons why we love each other, passing a challenge involving an egg, a blindfold and my trouser legs, and me having to sing a song in Japanese to Yolande. I honestly didn't know the song I was supposed to sing though, so I sang "Can't help falling in love with you" instead. I didn't really mind, since I had thought about having karaoke at the wedding and this was a nice compromise! It was a hilarious way to showcase my questionable talent in front of a captivated (hostage?) audience.

The rest of the wedding was one big party. Good simple, honest food from the Irish pub, lots of mingling, a small amount of drinking, and a few rounds of bingo to get everyone involved (I think the kids had all the luck with the numbers called). Our wedding MCs, Vic and KK did an amazing job. They hadn't met most (if not all) of Yolande's family before, but they were confident, professional, made a lot of jokes and really contributed to the day. Our friend, Kodomo, was our official photographer and he took some amazing shots with all his professional gear, so I'm really grateful to him as well. Everybody was really generous with their red packets, which really helped offset the cost of the wedding, and we got some really thoughtful wedding presents, some of which will come in handy once we have a place of our own. I also spent a lot of time in the evening chatting with my younger cousins and nieces, etc., which was a lot of fun.

One song I remember being played later in the night, not long before everybody went home, went something like "It's a good, good night". It was quite a chilled out song, and I remember thinking that it had been an amazing night filled with enjoyment. A night that I will never forget.

Luckily, we get to do it all over again in the UK this summer! I can't wait, although this time we've probably got more to prepare! As usual, one of us is working and one of us is studying - that's just how we do things. :D

That's pretty much all I can remember for now, but if I remember anything else (which I probably will) I'll update this post.

28th November 2009

On the 28th November 2009, Daniel and I finally tied the knot at Durty Nellys Irish Pub. We wanted a simple yet fun wedding which everyone (including the guests) could enjoy. Perhaps a pub celebration may be common in England, but it is definitely something new for my family. I shall explain what a typical wedding in Singapore would be like and leave you to “spot the difference”.

Prior to coming to Singapore, the concept of “face” is only theoretical to Daniel. However, this whole wedding preparation (plus his day-in-day-out interactions with my dad especially) has taught him that Asians place a lot of emphasis on “giving face” especially when an elder person is involved. Newly weds invite family and friends to their wedding to share their happiness. However, it is common in Singapore that the wedding ceremony is also about “showing off” one’s fortune. It is typical to book a grand ballroom at a 4 or 5 star hotel 1 year in advance. For your information, these ballrooms can hold 200-600 people depending on which hotel you book. It usually comes with an 8-10 course meal which serves abalone, cold prawn salad, sharks’ fins (maybe some still do) etc. I must admit that the decorations are amazing and everything would be well taken care of. But, neither of us wanted such a wedding.

We had initially wanted to book an English Pub but as it would be inconvenient for my granny to make her way upstairs, we chose the Irish Pub. As much as possible, we emphasised on making the event as fun as possible. We wanted guests to be able to walk around, mingle with each other and have a good laugh. Hence, we had a brilliant idea – BRIDAL BINGO! True enough, my family loved the game. Some lucky kids (my nieces) won the pot! We also had a mixture of British and Asian food which many of our guests enjoyed too.

Our wedding in Singapore couldn’t have been more perfect. The moment we were announced husband and wife, tears welled up in my eyes. We, Daniel and I, have come a long way and are happy to walk the journey through our lives together.

Update (Part 1)

My third semester turned out to be the busiest by far. Study took a backseat as wedding preparations became our chief priority. As such it is only now, during the Christmas break in Oxford, that I have time for a much prelonged update.

To elaborate on Yolande's previous entry, I'm pleased to say I successfully carried out two 'dummy proposals' before popping the question for real the next day. In Chinese Garden I asked "Yolande Lim, will you... ...have breakfast with me?", offering a Subway takeaway bag from behind my back. Later, outside the Japanese restaurant, I asked whilst revealing what looked like a ring box partially concealed inside my backpack "Yolande Lim, will you... ...take this gift as a token of my affection?" before pulling out the rest of the long bracelet box to give to her. The night's stay at Sentosa Resort was also kept a surprise with the cooperation of the staff working at the Spa, until we returned later to the hotel to check in. I had pretended to be 'blur'about how to get to our destination, which fooled Yolande into thinking we were going to visit the Merlion. When we suddenly alighted the bus outside the hotel, she was shocked and very pleased. I also managed to inadvertently scare witless the lady behind the hotel reception desk by popping up suddenly after crouching down to retrieve my documents from my backpack. It was during the Hungry Ghost Festival, and the lady had imagined Yolande was talking to thin air whilst wearing a shocked expression on her face. I nearly brought forward the proposal to that night on account of a shaky weather forecast, but chanced the next morning at the beach, where the proposal had to be rushed somewhat due to the unbearably hot sun! However , it all turned out brilliantly in the end, although the engagment ring turned out to be too small despite being measured and adjusted based on Yolande's own ring. With some pressure on Yolande's part, the jewellers conceded to fix their mistake in time for my family's arrival in Singapore.

A Week of Celebration

Despite having to cope with a “crazy” lecturer, projects and upcoming exams, Daniel planned a series of events to not only celebrate my 25th birthday but also THE SURPRISE that we have all been waiting for – THE PROPOSAL.

I didn’t ask much for my birthday as all I really wanted was an exercise band to carry around with whilst on biz trip (to ensure that I stretch myself well in the hotel room after the flight…and come to think of it, it would be a good “stress” reliever after having to have mandatory dinner meetings) and a box of Ferrero Rocher. Obvious to many, the latter most probably defeats the purpose of having an exercise band and my new exercise regime. Back to the point – Daniel was “obliged” to get me an enormous birthday card as the one I gave him was already huge. He must have been fitting in well in this Asian society where we place great importance on “saving” and “giving” face. I had an awesome treat to Betty’s Roast Chicken from Billy Bombers (American restaurant) and a movie ticket to watch “THE UGLY TRUTH”. I am no movie-goer. My friends have given up asking me out for a movie. Even Daniel had to persuade me to catch a show with him when he first came to Singapore. I prefer to be in the comfort of my own home watching DVDs. But I must admit that “THE UGLY TRUTH” is the movie that has made me laugh throughout, and no regrets. It was predictable, but I really needed that laugh. Daniel must have had a culture shock at the cinema because everyone was literally LAUGHING OUT LOUD whilst he was doing his typical “British Laughter” (I can’t think of the word for it, but Daniel claims that the “British Laughter” is different or is he just trying to be classy? =p) Most Singaporeans (75% of the population) will not have a problem understanding what the actors are saying although we are laughing out loud because we can read the subtitles in Chinese. But for Daniel, if he cannot hear the lines, he won’t have got the joke.

THE SURPRISE was meant to be a surprise but I kind of knew when it would come because Daniel has to schedule it around my biz trip. It all started on 19.09.2009 when Daniel rang me on my mobile while I was still in bed (he lives just in the next room but he had to ring me!) and told me to wash up and head to Chinese Garden. I was told to bring what I thought was necessary for the day (no make-up, no extra clothes…). I was told to climb to the peak of the pagoda (7 storey) in Chinese Garden. The scenery was awesome and the best part was seeing Daniel waving to me from a distance in the Japanese garden! He was a real teaser throughout the day but I think it made me even eager to hear him pop the question.

We then headed to Sentosa where Daniel had secretly booked a night’s stay at the prestigious Sentosa Resort and Spa (Botanica). I knew nothing of it at all – all thanks to the absolutely fabulous planning duo, Daniel and Rene. The spa retreat was awesome except for the drizzle but it made us feel very relaxed. We had dinner at a Japanese restaurant by the beach and watched the sunset (ok, we didn’t notice the sun setting).

We were up bright and early, preparing ourselves for the buffet breakfast by the pool. And I thought, “When is he going to pop the question?”. I enjoyed swimming boring laps in the pool. But Daniel insisted on heading to the sandy beach despite the hot weather which I swear could have caused me a heat-stroke that morning. Whilst I was tanning, Daniel placed a ring on a Precious Moments figurine and asked if I would marry him. Before any of you go “Awwwww…”, I didn’t say yes immediately. Do you seriously think I could say yes after all the mental torture and games Daniel played with me over those 2 days? I stood up and said, “Hmm…I’m not too sure if I should say yes. Let me ask other people around. Ah, but there aren’t that many people around.”. Daniel’s expression was priceless then when he said, “Yolande Lim, this is serious. It is not time for you to fool around!” and then I said, “YES!”

The Halfway Point

It's been an eventful semester, much different from the first. Following the first semester's stress, I took more time out to relax, taking entire days off from study to spend with Yolande.

We got to see a lot of baby Andrew, first with Singapore's National Day, then with his Christening. National day was interesting to see. We swam, played tennis, and barbecued (as in food, I'm not referring to our skin in the hot weather, although that was probably true in my case). I was shocked by the level of patriotism (I couldn't tell how serious they were) displayed by some of Yolande's relatives, who unashamedly peeked through the window of a first floor apartment next to the barbecue pit in order to watch the celebrations on their TV and recite the Singapore National Pledge in unison with the rest of the nation...

We, the citizens of Singapore
pledge ourselves as one united people,
regardless of race, language or religion,
to build a democratic society,
based on justice and equality,
so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and
progress for our nation.

...If you get the chance, I recommend asking Yolande for her version of this pledge, with added clauses that give a slightly more realistic depiction of Singapore!

But perhaps the biggest highlight was being rushed by Yolande's nieces to quickly down my glass of wine and take them to the playground, where I was spun on a roundabout and made to lift them onto the monkey bars. I went home feeling extremely dizzy!

The Christening was also a lot of fun - Yolande's aunt managed to smuggle baby Andrew onto the minibus after the Christening without his parents realising. We also tried to help him get to sleep later on in the day, but ended up entertaining him by singing and reading to him, which he seemed to enjoy. Although, Yolande now has a reputation for making him cry, which she is convinced he does on purpose only when she holds him in front of others.

Yolande and I also completed our walk, at last, between Orchard Road and home, this time starting from home in the morning. It took us about 5 hours to walk the roughly 20 kilometres to Orchard, including a stop at Clementi, the halfway point, for lunch. We felt very triumphant upon reaching the station, but had only enough energy left for a quick lunch at KFC and the train ride home, after which we napped away the afternoon until about 8pm.

So as you can see, I've been making more effort recently to relax, spend time with Yolande, and reboot myself. I think Yolande has also been much happier this semester as a result. It's not that I've been working any less hard, but perhaps I've been working more efficiently and managing my time better. The first semester's results were good (A for OB, A- for SMBP), but I spent too much time on additional reading that ultimately proved unnecessary when it came to taking exams. In semester two, I streamlined my efforts, reading only what was needed, and putting grades before self-enrichment. As a result, I was far less stressed, enjoyed myself more, and should have hopefully topped semester one's results by a significant margin. However, I think I can do better. Because when it came down to it, I still needed to re-read chapters and make notes for exams later on, making the long hours during term-time spent in the library keeping on top of the readings all but pointless. And I still haven't made much progress with my research projects! Semester three will be 100% streamlined - I will not study unless it will directly impact on my grades, and the rest of my time will be spent on leisure, and of course planning for a certain wedding.

Yes, that's right. Yolande and I are now officially engaged and plan to have the registration of marriage later this year, before travelling to England for our Christmas holidays. In fact, a lot planning went into what turned out to be a complex proposal plan, and I'd like to thank Yolande's friend, Rene, for discussing ideas with me without giving the game away to Yolande! If I do score high grades this semester, it will have been whilst preparing and carrying out this proposal, and whilst preparing for my family's visit to Singapore on the day of my last exam. Not to mention Yolande's birthday week (the myriad celebrations really did last a week!) falling during exam time. In fact, I believe all three of those events (birthday, proposal, family holiday) merit their own blog entry, and two of them would be better told from Yolande's point of view, so I shall conclude this entry by saying that I look forward to, if it's possible, an even more eventful third semester than the last!

Porridge

I'm eating a lot of porridge for breakfast these days. Not the oat-based concoction one might think of in the west. Rather, a dish derived from rice, boiled to submission, to which a variety of augmentations may be made, namely salt, egg, meat, fish, marmite, and bovril, amongst others. This is the Chinese way.

4th August 2009 - Birthday in Singapore!

This year was a special birthday, in that it was the first birthday Yolande and I have ever spent together in the close-to-4-years we have known each other! Despite having a 3.5 hour Finance lecture that morning, my evening turned out splendidly, as I met up with Yolande after work, who treated me to a surprise dinner at a sophisticated Japanese restaurant. The main courses were delicious, as was the surprise birthday cake, which tasted of chocolate, rum, and raspberry. Yum yum! The restaurant even gave us complimentary cheese cake as a birthday treat, and took a polaroid picture of us. We had a magnificent view of Singapore river from our table. Great atmosphere, great music, great conversation - it was a great evening, all told.

Yolande had already given me my birthday present early, which was a 'management fable' called "The THREE SIGNS of a Miserable Job". It has an enjoyable story, as well as being the book I'll be critiquing for one of my research projects, so having my own copy is pretty handy.

I've yet to spend the birthday money I received from Nanny and Zoe & Robin, but I'll be sure to think hard and buy something I'll get a lot out of. I was very pleased to receive so many cards in the post and birthday messages via Facebook from my family and friends. Thank you everybody!!!

It was sad to spend a second birthday in a row away from my family in England, but I am looking forward to their arrival in Singapore at the end of September (when we'll celebrate mine and Yolande's birthday all over again!) and, in the meantime, was thrilled to receive a parcel of Roysters crisps from Gemma, who knew just how much I'd been craving them!

P.S. Since we only ate a small slice at the restaurant, the other day I asked Yolande if she fancied having any of the leftover birthday cake (which I managed to squash on the bus home) for pudding. It turns out Yolande and her parents finished it all without me knowing! (Yolande thought I'd had some too!) Oh well, I'll just have to buy a nice cake for Yolande's birthday and eat some of that! (Come to think of it, that was probably her plan all along... Mua ha ha!)